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10月26日 Everything I Do...Hi all!! By now you should know me well enough to know that I like to complain. This is my personal ranting space and while you all think I'm a sad, angered bastard, I would like to inform you, that while it is not technically incorrect, there is no one holding a gun to your head at this moment and you know why you've subscribed to the RSS feed. You just flat out love it. So I'm trying to change a little, I'm trying to quit smoking, which although is failing miserably in the 'quitting' department, is actually going quite well in the 'reduced the number' area. I do apologize to all of you when I steal your cigarettes, but if I buy my own pack I can't control myself. In general, all you have to do is be around when I do have and you will get plenty (especially if I'm drunk). On the downside, I'm testy a lot. Deal with it, it's your fault. I've also greatly reduced the amount of beer I'm drinking. No particular reason, a little of wanting to reduce the belly, a little of just being sick of it after the whole summer. Another bit because it's too hard to find Guinness Surgers which would immediately invalidate the previous point and also greatly increase my private consumption and possibly make me hate Guinness. Doubtful, but yeah. What else, oh yeah, I'm going running sometimes. Given, not that much but you shouldn't be surprised to find out that while 7 times a week is a lot more than 3 times every month, 3 times a month is more than infinitely more than 0 times because, 0 × ∞ = 0! So yeah, much better than nothing. Potentially, all of the above things should help me live longer, or a healthier life or whatever. But really, what's the point in that? I've pretty much quit gaming except for that half an hour I spend playing Scribblenauts on the crapper and the occasional Tale of Monkey Island which is usually done in 3 - 4 hours. By the time I get off work it's already dark. Makes it feel like the day is already over with nothing much to do. Drugs are illegal these days. The only contact with women I have are those who are either unavailable, consider me as a general entity rather than a potential mate (guh...friends) or will lead me through some sort of shenanigan which will undoubtedly blow up in my face. No, not literally. And then I'll never see them/speak to again. As for work...meh! One Piece is all right. That's something to look forward to. The weekend binges are awesome. In a way I think I'm doing the above to compensate for the massive (used correctly) amounts of alcoholz I'm drinking at the weekends. Awesome. So yeah, everything I do, I do it for you! 6月14日 Not just to 'appear offline'The truth is, that in reality, superpowers aren't as awesome as they've been hyped up to be. Some of them are, but let's assume you can shoot beams out of your eyes, that means that when you're saving a damsel in distress from your evil arch nemesis, you're probably gonna give her 3rd degree burns on her massive tits or sweet ass. Which doesn't really make you much of a hero. Super strength? One sneeze and you would have to buy new furnitures. Elastic body? Penile dysfunction. Mutant spider powers? Take off your shoes every time you want to scale a building. Why am I telling you this, you may ask? Well, I'm going to let you in on a secret. I have superpowers - I can turn invisible. It sucks. Let me explain some physics to you guys.
Anyway, you know my secret now. So remember, if you open my room suddenly and see porn playing on the PC, I'm probably actually there, but you guys startled me and I turned my self invisible. 4月19日 The Purpose of the Universe While on my daily mission to stumble upon what has been added to the internets, I came across (or stumbled if you must) a page in which the some foundation ask people about the Big Questions. Does the universe have a purpose? Well, I have never pondered upon that question myself but it is somewhat close to what Deep Thought was looking for when finding the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. Sure, the question posed here is much simpler, requiring only a yes/no answer, but still, do you think there is a purpose to this universe? Was it only created (the whole immensely huge thing) just so that a particular rock which just happens to be the third closest planet to a particular star could form life over billions of years just so that we could start wars and tear each other apart. Well, probably yes, but then again, probably no. What am I saying? I have no idea to be honest, but I'm trying to flesh out the blog entry since I am pretty sure that I have in fact found the purpose of the universe. I have conducted extensive research, cross examined evidence, analyzed data and I have reached the conclusion that the universe was created for one purpose. The purpose of the universe is to screw with me. 3月3日 Mostly Speculative In this boring mundane life everyone reaches a point in life where everything is just a routine. You get up, you go to work, you wait for the break, go eat from the usual two or three places, return the work, leave work, go home, go grab a beer, complain that there is no beer in the fridge, sit in front of the TV, play Rockband, eat, watch Friends, go the sleep. It gets slightly sadder when you take a higher view into the same life and zoom out from one day to one week. Monday - work, Tuesday - work, Wednesday - work, Thursday - work, Friday - work, go home, go out, get drunk, argue with your best friend, go home, Saturday - wake up late, splitting headache, eat pastizzi from Jeffs, stay curled up all day, propose going out, stay in, sleep. Sunday - Jubilee, Rockband, Friends, sleep. And that's pretty much it. Life as I experience it. Not that I have anything to complain about, but, really, when you look at it this way you realize that there is nothing really going on which is extraordinary. Luckily for us, we have a great asset at our disposal. And while I could've just move on directly to the topic at hand, which is the true asset I am referring to, I have chosen to use the aforementioned asset to refer to the 'spice of life' which we all know and love. And with that we reach imagination, the main topic, or theme, if you like, of this entry. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Not only has it given us (I literally mean us, the author and his friends, not us, the human population of the world) exciting products such as the E³B (electronic belly button brush) and "just add water girl-satchets" (which allows you to live your wildest dreams simply by adding water to a satchet which in turn forms a beautiful woman which will dissolve some hour or so later), but it has given us tons of laughs by imagining what it would've been like if the post office opened a package which contained 100% pure vacuum and what it would be like to be trapped in an apartment doing illegal things when a swat team bursts in to arrest you. Sure some of these things may have been slightly over-exaggeration. Actually, all of these things were only exaggerations of some previous train of thought which derailed and crashed into an symposium of relativistic scientists. Which brings us to time travel. The funnest part about time travel is not only the escapades you would do with your younger self, but mostly the speculations as to what would have happened if only a minor detail were to be changed in what has previously happened. How different would my life be if I hadn't taken the car out the first day I got my licence? Or if I had managed to cheat just a little better and got a 45 in the exam which was basically the reason why I got thrown out of university. Or if the sun wasn't to hot that fateful day. Threading into stranger grounds, what if we only changed a minor detail in this life, or in the universe. Simply disregarding a simple law of physics or biology. If only bacon grew on trees, ah, what a wonderful world that would be. If only we could really have superpowers. I'm not talking about having superstrength and x-ray vision, but minor changes like being able to know time instinctively or visualize music. Well, that is what imagination is for. It is mostly a speculative exercise - but an awesome one none-the-less. And so I will leave you with this. What if I hadn't done this entry today? Would you respect me more? (depends if respect can go into negative levels because 0 - 10 would still be 0) Or would you still be missing the dry period this blog has had in the past month? I don't know son, I don't...know... 9月15日 Fresh Stories out of the Black BookNow here's a story I really shouldn't be publishing on an online blog. It's a story that happened well over 10 years ago, it's still imprinted in my brain and to this day no one knows about it except maybe one or two people. It's scary as hell and you probably won't believe it really happened. But still, I recently read that this was all settled and so theoritically I shouldn't be in any trouble or danger by spilling the beans now. If you don't see me in a week or so, you can safely assume that I was wrong.
So anyway. This happened a while ago - probably '96 or '97. Don't know the exact year but basically it was a time when summer was still an exciting thing. When work didn't exist, when Lm2 was enough to buy me a hot dog from 'Cajc' and a soft ice cream from 'Granola' every day for a week. When swimming involved actual time in the water and not sunbathing. Alcohol, driving and hangovers were only a far away dream and the most exciting thing that could've happened was getting kicked out of 'Cocktails' or 'Creek' for trying to sneak in and play a game of pool. The heat was probably more bearable at that time but we did our very best to keep the required sweat level constant by playing extravagant games, riding our bikes non stop and basically living in our own fucked up fantasy world. It was awesome.
We considered ourselves to be the 'Kings of Marsalforn'. Basically every waking moment not spent waiting for Alex (and bros) to be ready, we were running around causing destruction and mayhem somewhere in Marsalforn. Okay, not so much 'destruction and mayhem' as 'harmless fun which we thought was much worse than it is' but we were fairly annoying brats and our high speed chases on rollerblades/mountain bikes were, in retrospect, rather dangerous considering the volume of traffic/crazy drivers in Marsalforn.
One of our games was the traditional hide and seek. Or cops and robbers. I'm not sure. Anyway, some have to hide, some have to find the ones hidden. Being moderate folks ourselves, we set the limit of places we could run off to, to, well, basically all of Marsalforn. And while it doesn't seem like the largest place on earth, there are a lot of places to hide there. Anyway, in our street in Marsalforn there was (still is actually, but it's going to be torn down soon) this old house. No one lives there and despite having about seventeen "Min jitfa zibel aw jigi imkarrek" signs it was always full of rubbish so as to make it a better eyesore than it already was. Well, the other people called it an eyesore. I called it: "The perfect hiding place". So one day, while playing hide and robbers (or something), I decided to run along and go in there. I mean, really, who would think of looking for me in there. It was almost dark when I went in, to make the experience even scarier, but having been a scout, I was always prepared and I took a torch with me, intending to go up the balcony and look down below (otherwise they would've never found me...).
So I'm in this creaky old place, when I hear a noise from the level below. I immediatly got a fright since I hadn't seen anyone come in from the front entrance. I dashed in to hear two men speaking. I couldn't quite understand what they were saying but there were a few 'aqalla's and 'aqalmadunna's in that conversation. They were waiting for someone. I immediatly stopped breathing. There was no way to sneak outside and, well, showing myself wasn't such a good idea considering that my parents lived maybe 7 or 8 doors away and would give me the yelling of a lifetime had they known I went in there. After a while another guy appears. Apparently there was back entrance which could be accessed from the field at the back of the block. And that's when all hell broke loose.
Lovely.
The guy apparently didn't have the money, but had some goods. The first two blokes apparently didn't give a flying fuck about goods they just wanted their Lm120,000 back. At that moment I thought: "Well, the yelling of a lifetime would sound really great right about now". After a heated argument which lasted, at most, 7 minutes another guy came in. Apparently he was with the first two mafiosi. He immediatly started beating the living shit out of the one with debt. It was like watching an action movie. But not quite as fun. I may have pissed my pants at that point. No wait. That was when the first guy got out his gun, put it against the head of guy on the floor who was a bloody mess at this point. "Next week, or you're dead." And that's when I pissed my pants.
"Oh. My. God. I'm gonna die" Unfortunately for you, I didn't. I wasn't noticed. I wasn't a witness to the murder and had to have been transferred to a witness protection program in Alabama or something. I just stayed there. The trio left leaving the beat up shell of a man on the floor. He didn't look quite dead yet, but he wasn't moving. After giving ample time to make sure they had left and the guy had passed out, I dashed out the house and ran non stop to our flat.
I was crying at this point. I had the greatest panic attack of my life. My mother demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me and I told her. At that point she got really scared and said: "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said 'Fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare, but I thought "No forget it" - "Yo homes to Bel Air."
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. 8月29日 Zeppu's Ultimate Guide to Picking UpPrepare to be amazed. I will tell you my secrets. Zeppu's ultimate guide to picking up has a 100% success rate unless of course, it involves something which is way, way, way out of your capabilities.
Okay so let's start. The first thing to do is to acquire the target to be picked up. It really shouldn't be hard, because, well everything in life has a purpose and there isn't much point in picking up if you haven't thought about and feel the need that it's something which needs to be done. Okay. The next step is to make an unbiased judgement. Will you be able to pick this up on your own? Do you think you will require some extra help? If you think you need help do not be afraid to ask. Sure we are men and we like to pretend like we can do it all on our own, but sometimes it's just impossible to do it on your own.
Okay, now, doing it with someone helping you is another technique and I shall not be covering this in this entry so I'll just tell you how to do it solo. So, the first thing to do is approach the object. If you think it's a light object, simply use a single hand, put it around it, and use your hand muscles to pick it up. However if you think that it will be heavier I would suggest you use both hands around it, grab two edges which are easy to hold on to and lift. Now which a heavy object, remember, you do not want to hurt your back, so don't bend over and try to straighten your back because that can cause you harm. The best technique is to bend your knees, grab the object and then straighten your knees such that the effort is all done with your legs.
And there you have it. Picking stuff up made easy. I hope this was useful to you.
Regards 7月15日 Preparing the ListAs all of you who know me know, one of my greatest flaws would probably have to be that I procrastinate too much. I know it's a thing which can lead to a lot of big problems and I promise you I'll work on stopping this procrastination...later...someday. However this isn't about procrastination per se. It's more of the planning for things which never come to fruition. How often have we all done that really? Hey guys, you know what we should do? Dub a southpark episode in Maltese. No let's create a Mario mushroom with mosaic. Write a story. Start a sitcom in our flat. Go eat at Tmun someday. Go to the gym.
Okay some of them are simply outrageous and will never be realized. However a few of them could easily be done with with a little effort. And usually it's the starting point which is the most painful part. When we decided to put LEDs in our skirting, it seemed like a great idea (Frosties great, not just normal great) but it was put off when we realized the effort we had to put into it. Then one day we decided...
Eeeh fuck it...
bye. 4月25日 Thinking of tomorrowSo yeah, I have nothing to talk about today, but I feel like talking to my faithful audience who have stood through thick and thin to listen to my idiotic banter. I've been thinking. It hurts a bit cos i'm not used to it, but I still do it. I have come to a conclusion. Let me see if you have the same views as I have.
Have you ever been in a situation, like on a roof of a building, with the sunset in your eyes, and you say to yourself: "Life is good." No particular reason why you would think that, but nothing is bothering you, nothing is really that good when you actually think about it. You're broke, you have work to do, you have a thesis to finish, but at that point, life is really good. At moments like these I feel everything and sorrow, but everything seems to be okay. Nothing is bothering you. You feel at ease with everythng around you and you realize that no matter how much shit is waiting around the corner after you leave that particular place, at that very moment, you are enjoying some of the best feelings life can offer. It can be something as simple as looking at the sunset while having a beer at the expense of your emplyoing company who pays you quite a bit of money to stay around in your office and do nothing. Or you can just be chilling out with your closest of friends enjoying a bottle of vodka to celebrate, well, basically nothing. That's when it realy feels awseome. And you could possibly enjoy that moment forever, even though it really is nothing special and just the weather conditions are what making it special.
Because really, this is life. You have to hang on to the things which really make you happy. Otherwise you'll just throw yourself into a spiralling depression which you'll never be able to get out of because, let's face it, life really is a bitch. Everything is going against you if you choose to look at it that way. However if you pick the right angle, and look at what is better than what was before you'll find that every step of what you've ever done has led you to the person you are now. And I am pretty sure that no matter who you are, you are happy to look at yourself and say that everything will be cool if my plans turn out okay. Sure somethings are hard. Some things may seem impossible at this point. But all you have to keep in mind is that I'm here, drunk, writing a blog entry at 22:46, absolutely hating everything regarding my bloody thesis which is due in a week, having only done about 80% of what there is to be done, yet still, I'm enjoying everything there is to enjoy, because, just like The Hulk said maybe an hour ago, life is what you make of it. If you look at it at the wrong angle it sucks. But we have to option to look from the opposite side and see what's good about it. Like the fact that I'll be moving to a new place soon and my living conditions and lifestyle will start anew and everything, with a little effort, can be just the way I want it. And that's good. Just like with a little effort, and maybe a litte uncomfortableness you can get what you want. It's all good. I shouild be a hippie!
And so, I have to say goodbye! Adios Ayer... 4月20日 Mindless Ramblings...<Introdution goes here>
As I was saying in my intro above, this is something which should be attended to with utmost urgency because it isn't exactly something which is to be ignored, especially in these times and the situations which arise due to this matter. But anyway, back onto the previous topic, this is basically the prime time of my life (much like for some it was Ms. Jean Brodie's) and I should act like it. I consider myself lucky because I was born in a technologic era where everything is relatively easy on us and performing simple tasks today would've been much much harder, say, 75 years ago. The lifestyle has changed drastically, and it has done so in pretty much every aspect of it. Transportation changed, trains and cars were all powered by steam machines, required a lot of maintenance and their reliability was very low, meaning that every trip was bound to turn into a disaster. Similarly for entertainment, a century ago what would a person have done to spend time? Read? Go for a walk? Today with the miracles of telecommunication computers and television rule the nation and everything is available to us at a flick of an on/off switch. We have become mindless drones due to this, and who knows? Maybe there is an oranization up there, (the Patriots maybe?) who is trying to control us. They are the brainwashers of our society but they are still making us more comfortable in the long run. And who am I to complain?
But there are certain things which cannot be controlled by any organization (unless the world turns into a 1984esque world). Something makes us different from any satellite, car, robot, rock, tree or animal out there. We have emotions which cannot be controlled by any other means. One cannot decide for us what we like, what we feel like doing, what kind of music we enjoy or whom we want to make love to. That is what makes us unique. We are human, after all. (Thanks for coming, after all) 3月18日 The things I've learned. Chapter 1 - The InternetKintaro Oe is a smart guy, no matter how naïve he may seem. He knew that everything in life is educational and something can be learnt from pretty much everything. In this new column I shall attempt ot share my newly acquired knowledge with my trusty audience, such that you don't have to go through all the pain of having to learn it yourself and become a better person in the society, in life, and in pretty much everything else. So let's begin with the first chapter. The internet.
First off, it should be noted that within the internet itself, one always refers to this phenomenon as 'The internets!' Why it's plural is not quite understood but this holds for several other things which are referenced within the internets. Sometimes, things are plural. Anyway, let me start by first explaining how the internets works. At it's very core, the internets is composed of lots and lots of porn (commonly referred to as pr0n) networked together, as well as users on the other edges of the internets which log on to access and illegally share this porn. That's it. That's the basic concept. What happened is that through the years, the people lost sight of their vision and started putting other types of informations (pl.) on the internet. The reason for this is not quite known but madeup statistics clearly show that one in every four porn sites have become infected with this useful informations which in turn attracted other users. And that's it. That's the internets.
Now what have I learnt on the internets? Well first off, no matter how hard you try not to, you will ALWAYS find porn, which is fair enough considiring that it is the sole reason why the network was created. Another thing to note is that ALL WOMEN ON THE INTERNETS ARE HOT. All of them. It's amazing. I don't know how it's possible, but yes, it's true. That being said the new main purpose of the internets is to illegally obtain anything you want without having to have to pay for it. Anything, music, movies, tv serieses, games, kidneys, VDs...anything. Also, it is quite popular to interact with other users on this internets. This is done through several methods including chats, instant messaging, emails and most recently social networking sites. Well, chats are composed solely of males with no life and males pretending to be horny 18 year olds. Strangely enough the bracket of ages within these chats (most IRC) is made up of 10-14 year olds and then lonely 30-60 year olds. At 18 people are usually realizing that they can go out and drink alcohol and therefore opt for that solution instead of staying online and chatting. Instant messaging is mostly a place where people idle and brag about how long they've been online, share emoticons, decide what time to go out and see the gleam notifications to know that their favourit blog has been updated. The comment/personal message area is useful to share insults to the general public, witty comments and inform others that your political party has in fact won the election again even though you deserved it but didn't because of your idiotic leader. Emails are only by companies to let you know that you have a small penis and that it should be enlarged and erect.
And then there are the world famous social networking sites. What have I learnt from these? Well it's quite simple because these sites are basically built to teach you stuff. Just looking at people's avatars (personal pictures) one can learn quite a few things. Just looking at the picture can give you a clear view of what kind of person you're speaking with.
And there you go. All summarized, the internets is made of porn, free stuff and idiots. Some like to ride the wave, others, like me, bitch about it. </Lesson> 2月12日 Final Sum = P(1 + i)ⁿRecently I've probably been more philosophical than I really need to be and I know that but on the contrary to popular belief I like to find something interesting at the back of my brain and when inspiration comes (i.e. waiting for the ferry) I overelaborate unnecassarily on these concepts whilst mindlessly driving home. Now I'm an interested person. Note: I said interested not interesting - hell I'm probably the least interesting person you know and quite plainly put you won't have a decent conversation with me unless, strangely enough, you find a topic which I'm interested in. And considering I'm an interested person it isn't that hard to find. I probably just don't like talking to you.
But yes, I'm interested in a lot of things. It bugs me when I cannot understand or find the reasoning behind something. I've scoured the internet looking up information of no particular use simply because I'm that kind of person. It's a curse really, because the memory part of my brain is somewhat weak and while I do look up the information out of curiousity I tend to forget it as soon as I sober up, or leave work, or close the browser. Quantum computing fascinates me - I've managed to grasp it's basic (which ironically are highly complex) concepts. Despite not being into economics I think that the game theory is great. I'm not just interested in the concept but also at awe on how John Nash (if John Nash or Russell Crowe leave a comment I'm gonna freak out) figured it out at a bar by observing girls' reactions when being hit on. I go deep when researching a subject. I'm interested in stories of games which I'll never play. But there are things which escape my sphere of influence. Like fashion for example. How the fock does that work?!? Is there like a guy (gay?) in like Paris or Milan thinking and suddenly says: "Pink. It wasn't an easy decision...but yeah...pink!" What the fuck is that? Do they have an abundance of pink sheep in New Zealand or something? That makes no sense to me whatsoever. But strangely enough all metrosexuals will be wearing fucking pink skin tight tops next Summer. I don't get it. And models! They may as well be stick figures walking on the catwalk there. No one's like that except other fucking models. No one unveils a new car portraying a midget as a driver. They are designed on the average height and weight of normal healthy human beings - not like fashion. Pfft.
Anyway, interest is a strange thing. It's something common amongst all humans. You gather up a lot of interest over something stupid, get really excited about it and when you get it you slowly start to lose the excitement. All the bloody world has the attention span of a goldfish. Take me for example, as I'm writing this, it's my second day wearing a brand new watch. I've been looking for North and temperatures and altitude all weekend. But when I actually publish this entry, and re-read it I'll be like: "Oh year right I got a new watch...meh." It's the way we are! It's like that with everything. And the strangest thing is that we are expected to do so. If you don't do that and you actually keep up interest in something you will be labeled as fucking nuts! Just shows you how fucked up we all are.
Now as I said I'm interested in lots of things. And do not believe otherwise - it is a curse. I spent a whole night trying to learn how to solve a freakin' Rubik's cube. People come up to me and ask me about stuff which I have no clue about. I think to myself: "This guy's a fucken idiot!! Can't he just look it up himself?" But when you think about it, I'm the idiot (again) because I'll be the one who gets curious and stands up from the currently inebriated position to go look it up, understand it and find a simple analogy to explain to everyone. They're just exploiting my flaws!! But hey, at least my DS can have an R4, I don't go home when I lose in a game, I can use my car when there's dew outside and I don't sweep the whole floor at midnight. So I guess everyone has his thing...
13 links total :P 2月2日 What's in the Word..?Warning:
The following post is only suitable for people over 16 as it may contain mild profanity, sexual discrimination and a few spoilers on life itself.
Some university somewhere was conducting some research on name to face association and found that it is easier to remember a person's name if it fits within a stereotypical meaning of the name. Basically when you hear 'Bob' you immediatly picture a somewhat jolly/portly man and when you hear 'Andy' your brain goes to a tall, long haired geeky kind of fellow. Therefore if you actually meet a fat Bob you are bound to remember his name more than if you meet a skinny Bob. Now that may not be such a huge discovery but when you think about it, it make a hell of a lot of sense. The name of something sometimes will give you a baseless opinion about someone, or else raise interest in something which you had previously never paid attention to.
Take the 'iliac crest' for example. I learnt that last week - it's basically the protruding part of the hip bone in the lower belly area. It's beautiful on girls, but I had never paid too much attention to it before I learnt its name. Now that I actually do know the name I've realized that I was always fascinated by it in some way or another. Strange... Look at acronyms. They're brilliant! The USA is bloody exploding with them. They're mostly always catchy in some form or another but most of the people have no idea what they mean. No one give's a rat's ass about "National Aeronautics and Space Administration" but NASA is so cool! High definition multimedia interface? MPEG Layer 4? No thanks..I just want headphones for my MP4 thankkuverymach.
Anyway, back to names. It's true. You involuntarly associate names with physical appearance. It's especially true for female's names. From the name itself, one can immediatly determine the hotness of said person. Take Pamela, Donna, Naomi, Angelina and several others. Upon hearing one of those names you immediatly visualize a bombshell with pefect tits, nice ass and DSL. Well that's just not right! And just not true. What the hell is wrong with us? Have we watched so much television that we immediatly jump to a particular character and assume that anyone with the same name looks like that? That's crazy. Now we have even more stuff to give us these sterotypical ideas. We got fuckin YouTube now. I got another steotypical illusion from there - Marina. Another exotic name which makes me think of some pseudo-russian smart chick who occasionaly teaches me the meaning of words. She says that 'Intelligence is sexy'. Bullshit! That's just a blatant lie. That's like the "Lolz...! I watch porn because the story is so funny and it makes me laugh!". Yeah..uh huh! If intelligence is sexy then why are all women crazy about dumbasses like Beckham? The guy who before a game says: "They're white, small, and leave a minty taste in your mouth" when asked about tactics. He's a fucken idiot! You don't see any girl's room with posters hanging of Albert Einstein, Tim Berners-Lee or Stephen Hawking.
Intelligence in women is sexy. That's more like it. That immediatly makes more sense. It could be that I myself am somewhat infatuated by girls in glasses or just because, well, it's so rare. I'm not being offensive by saying that intelligence in women is rare. And that's for three (3) reasons:
If you are female somehow managed to figure out what the little star beside my name on MSN means and have understood 98% of the words used above then you are one of the rare intelligent models. If on the other hand you're female who accidently Googled something else entirely and somehow ended on this page, well then, learn how to use Google - and no. So in conclusion: Intelligent women are sexy or something. <Lee Evans>Fuuuckeeen hell man!</Lee Evans> This entry got fucken derailed didn't it? The above part is somewhat misleading though because, well to be honest men in general aren't that intelligent when you really think about it. But at least we don't go fuckin around telling people what isn't true. Some do - they're idiots. "The first thing that attracts me in a lady is her character." Bollocks. I'm sure these people go to discos and be like. "Look at that one..yeh..yeh..the one with the fake leg and eyepatch. I bet she's a really nice person to talk to. I should pick her up tongiht." Crap, derailed again. Anyway, you reach a point (I think this happens to everyone really...)(I hope...) when you realize you're a fucking idiot. You're like doing something completely irrelevant and then *ding* "I'm a fucking idiot." And you already knew that. You've gotten somewhat proud of it at this point. You're glad you've done nothing of use in your life, barely even looked at the future, didn't invest in anything, spent a good 90% of your money on drinks, cigs and games, still giggle when you get something in the mail, still find farts absolutely hilarious and it has never even bothered you one bit. But at that moment you realize that you are a real idiot. And at that point it bugs you. Why? Why the hell should it bug me? I knew it already! I like it. WTF? You think about it for about 13 seconds. You shrug, turn around and post a blog entry about it. 1月5日 New Year's Revolution?Posting so soon? Yes I am Colon Capital 'd'
Okay, new year resolutions. #1 cliché of NYR is that no one keeps their resolutions. We'll that's just not true, I kept my resolution throughout the whole of last year and I plan to keep it for this year. It's 1280x1024 and I'm sticking to it. Cliché #2 of NYR is "My New Year Resolution is to not make any New Year Resolutions!!." Oh, ha, ha! That's a paradox you idiot. You just made a resolution which you didn't keep which in turn statisfies cliché #1 which makes you an idiot.
Most people will say that they don't keep their NYR because they don't have enough willpower to do so. Others say that it's because it's hard to make a decision at the beginning of the year and keep it. I digress. The means of success in keeping your NYR is the act of choosing them. I plan to keep all of the following and I will NOT have any problems keeping 6/7 of them.
NYR1. Keep Smoking,
NYR2. Keep Drinking,
NYR3. Keep spending money on video games,
NYR4. Make new idiotic mistakes,
NYR5. Work out the following sum: 12 * 3,
NYR6. Write a blog entry on the 5th of January 2008,
NYR7. Fail at one of the above.
Easy!
12月31日 The Theory of Nothing: New Year Special Edition!!The year has come to the 'end' and so as a reward I will bring to my trusty audience two (2) entries this December. Unlike all (most) other blogs I will not be listing what I plan to do next year or what I have accomplished last year. As expected it will be different. Thus I present to you my arguments against the celebration of this occasion. Bitter? Possibly, but I still think its an overhyped day which is composed mainly of disappointments ranging from watching the "Female Log-Rolling Championship Finals" to finding out someone smashed up your perfectly well parked car after a party at a friend's place.
First off, I think it's stupid we celebrate what is basically an increment in a number. The only different thing is that for the next couple of weeks everyone will be writing 2007 at the end of the dates on all formal letters and then have to re-fill the whole form again because you don't want to look like the idiot who wrote 2007 in 2008. The actual moment when December ends and January starts has no religious or orbital characteristic which would make it any different. At least Christmas (besides supposedly being the birth of Jesus) is like the rebirth of the sun, when the days start getting longer after the winter solstice and basically is a symbol that everything is uphill from that point. So no, I don't think that doing "year = year + 1" is anything that momentuous.
Then there's the whole "OMG IT'S NYE" comments on MSN. I hate them. I know. Shut up. No really it's more because of the idea that everyone has to dress up in their bestestest because if the occasion (please refer to Reasons I hate Weddings #4). It doesn't make sense. No one goes out to dinner on NYE so there is no need to dress up and if you are gonna go to a party later you're gonna get pissed and being in classy clothes won't make you any classier because, well, let's face it, you probably want to getyour money's worth at the bar and even if it kills you, you gotta drink Lm20 worth of alcohol. Being in the suit will only make you more uncomfortable and trust me, it's much easier to clean puke stains from a t-shirt than it is to clean it from a blazer or jacket.
Also it's cold, or raining. That's if your plans are to stay outside. If you plan to stay in then it will be overcrowded or something. It's always overhyped on how awesome it's gonna be and you get excited about it and it will most probably suck at the end. Mostly like Assassin's Creed. Yes even NYE is repetitive.
But hey, I didn't write this all to just bitch. I have a solution. In order to be unhypocritical we should not not celebrate this day but instead celebrate the increment of the arbitrary numbers more often. Date is composed of dd/MM/yyyy. No you stupid Americans, it's dd/MM. Celebrating the increment of the 'dd' would be too much since it would make us all alcoholics and probably kill us. But the increment of the month doesn't sound too bad. So for the next year. On the 29th/30th/31st of each month I propose we go out and get pissed in celebration of the new month. And no fancy clothes or MSN comments. Who's with me? 12月18日 Newton's Third Law of MotionNow while in all honesty, my past experience learning physics is not exactly one of my greatest success stories especially considering the total waste of two years in university 'learning' the subject but in reality learning nothing, I still consider my self to be somewhat of a semi-physicist. I love physics, I love to know how things work, I love to know why things happen and I love that I'm able to make sense out of things which happen in real life like lightning, why time really isn't moving at a constant rate, and how in reality the four dimensions we know of are only a fraction of what exists. I'm glad I know how the universe came to be and I find it fascinating to find the similarities between the universe and the inner workings of an atom, all the way down to hadrons and leptons and even further down to quarks, anti-matter and strange matter. But if I had to choose, I'd say that the 3rd law is the most one I'm personally intrigued the most with.
While not always equal, and probably not exactly the opposite, I enjoy observing reactions to several actions. It is amazing science, not necessarily from a scientific point of view but more from a humourous perspective. And here, I shall share with my trusted and loyal audience some excellent examples of these actions which provide such strange reactions. We will then decide whether N3LoM will hold for these scenarios, in both oppositeness and equalness.
Action: Discovering that a coffee table can have drawer, nay, a secret, hidden drawer.
Reaction: Great reaction if I do say so myself. The first noticable effect is the encircularization (?) of all features on the human face. Eyes? Wide round circles. Mouth? Wide open in a perfect circle. The whole face can be depicted solely in ASCII art using only the 'o' key to show the amazement displayed of such ingeniousity of this simple invention. Newton's 3rd law of motion? BUSTED
Action: Playing Uncharted: Drake's Fortune.
Reaction: The reaction can have several anomalies. For starters, the injection of the demo to a subject can lead nausea. Oddly enough, the nausea does not affect the subject itself but more of the surrounding audience who have to sustain several reviewing of the actual reaction by the subject. At the end of the day it really makes you sick. On to the full version, the action may cause mixed emotions, some ranging for euphoria, wetting of undergarments and one documented case also induced tears. Great game? Yes! Unproportional reaction? Yes! Newton's 3rd law of motion? BUSTED
Action: The telling of a joke.
Reaction: The joketelling reaction can tell a lot about a person. In most cases the reaction is an outright burst of laughter which is the expected reaction from such an action. However in some cases the reaction may be delayed. It usually follows the following steps. Firstly the one subjected to the joke gives a faint smile and shakes his head as if to show that s/he cannot believe you said that. This usually happens while the rest of the croud is laughing. It then proceeds to a few moments of silence in which time the subject is still thinking about the joke you just made. After a few seconds (minutes?) the subject then understands the joke and starts laughing, only to realize that if the reaction is displayed at that moment, it will undeniably show that s/he took too long to get it and thus abruptly stops the laughter. By that time the conversation will have moved on and the rest of the croud will start laughing and the stupidity of the subject. Strange reaction if you think about it, but in reality the stupidity in this planet is far too great to be surprised. Newton's 3rd law of motion? CONFIRMED
Action: Having your pants dropped.
Reaction: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. Ahem...*clears throat*...excuse me for that unprofessionaly outburst. Ah yes! The classic. The reaction for this varies from person to person and from situation to situation. In most cases it will be a long stream of curses directed from the subject to the person performing the action. In some extreme cases guitars may be seen flying in the air during the this period. The subject then realizes that he, in fact, has his pants around his ankles and proceeds to pull them up. Life goes on. Everyone had a laugh. Great! In the most extreme cases one may realize that at that particular moment, he is in fact buck naked from the belt (well...belt postion...the actual belt is around his knees) down. However the act of having some kind of heavy object in hand (e.g. bowling ball), may interfere with the act of pulling up the pants. The subject may also come to the further realization that he is in a public place (with kids no less) and that HE IS ACTUALLY without underpants, so he proceeds to place the bowling ball in the right place before pulling the pants up. Heh. It is a strange reaction, true, but lets face it you just had your pants dropped! Newton's 3rd law of motion? PLAUSABLE
11月6日 Top Ten
Due to my intention to diversify the selection of posts within this blog, and the proven fact that my imagination really has it's limits, I will proudly present the following Top 10 list as this month's post!! Kindly note that unless specified the order of the list is not ranke but merely a listing of what I consider to be the top ten at the current moment. No, these will not be your absolute top...hell they even won't be my top 10, they're just the first 10 things which come to mind whilst I'm writing this.
Top 10 Top 10s
Top 10 characters which are awesome Bringing you the top 10 fictional characters in the world according to me. These will range from books to movies to video game characters. Totally awesome people. The itmes on the list may or may not have something writing behind them in parenthesis. If it is such a case, then not only is the character mentioned in that particular series, but also is the top from a top5/10 list of characters in that particular category (some of which may be expanded).
Top 10 Things I Would Do If I Were King Of The World Writing this down because some things bother me and I love to bitch about it.
Top 10 Spoilers You Shouldn't Hear Warning: The following section contains spoilers.
Top 10 inventions which are better than sliced bread Really. What is so special about sliced bread. Yeh it's practical, but hardly the benchmark of all inventions. Anyway here is a list of more important things invented after 1928.
Top 10 things I would do if I were God Hmmm...Think of the possibilities. Nothing bombastic really, but there are definately some things which could be changed and no human being can do. Also for obvious reason I will try to base these on selfless things which would help human kind...For I am a nice God after all!
Top 10 advantages of having a dirty car Yes, my car is dirty. True, laziness plays it's part in this story, but well...I have my reasons!
Top 10 useless things in this universe
Top 10 things to do before turning 30 (or dying at least) Everyone has his dreams. Some would like to do one thing, others want to do another. My list is relatively shallow. And at 1:51am I can't really think of anything deeper than the one's below. But I got to finish this list because I have the next "If we could be Heroes" in mind and this has to be done before, so, well, here goes.
Top 10 past times Here are the top 10 cool past times which exist. Odds are I don't enjoy doing even half of them, but at least I admit that doing them would be kind cool. Also note that at this point I'm really fed up and so the list is getting crappier and crappier.
Top 10 videogames you should play before you die By far the easiest list for me to populate. Somewhat harder to order but I'll do my best. These aren't necessarily the best game, but one's which should be played just for having played them. I have omitted a particular game not because it isn't good, but simply because I'm sick of it. You know which one. And you know the cause!!
Finally.
6月14日 The BeginningThe title itself should be enough to give people nightmares. The same title used by Gorg several thousands of years ago when he started his blog on the day when he went for the first lesson of MCAD. That was the beginning, and the end of his blog, one that went unupdated for several years before a series of underground deals commenced which forced termination of that uneventful 'blog'.
Hopefully, this will not be the same. While still in edit mode since nothing has been decided yet, (including layout, scheme, font, name, tagline, whether this will continue, the frequency of updates, etc..) I intend to take the minimum amount of credit of what will be written here. The main purpose of the blog itself is to document the brainchild of my friends and I as a group, as well as those weird, overthought, truly pointless things that occasionally pop up in my head. "But we don't care!" you all think whilst slowly scratching your beard/chin and looking at a slightly elevated angle into the nothingness. I know that, but, really, will you read this again if you're not just a little bit curious. No? Well yes, I kind of figured...
Putting that aside, what I do promise is that once formalized this blog will be the official home of the JST, which is undoubtedly the top excuse I will be using when people ask me what I was thinking, starting a blog even though a) nothing interesting ever happens, and b) I have no literary talents. But hopefully, random things which I wish to be remembered will be written here, for me (the only reader of the blog), to enjoy in the future.
Also next time I'll do my best to write shorter sentences and not abuse the use of commas.
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