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10月30日 Probably a Quad-Core with HyperThreading So there I was, a fairly untypical evening if I do say so myself. As I was watching (and finally understanding) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this incredibly hot 23 year-old, which we shall call Naomi, was giving me the best head I ever got. I could go into the details of that but I'm pretty sure you don't really care about how the first part of the movie is easily foreshadowing the rest of the story in a subtle way. At the same time, I was just reaching the final level of Crush on the PSP and I absentmindedly reached out and took a sip of my beer which was inconveniently placed on top of a house of cards. And I thought to myself: "Why is it that they say that women are better than men at multi-tasking?" I distinctly remember I had managed to come up with perfectly good proof, complete with example of why that wasn't the case, but at that moment Naomi hung up from the phone and told me: "Here I just made you a sandwich." And I thought: "Mmmm, sammich," and that's all I remember... 7月7日 Beer ScienceNow many of you probably don't know who Dave Barry is. Hell, I didn't know who Dave Barry was before I looked it up on wiki. He's some kind of American columnist/humourist or whatever. I don't really care to be perfectly honest. Point still stands that this guy said something very very important:
And, well, let's face it. There are several levels about how right you can be, and this guy, well, he's at the very top. Beer is just awesome on so many levels.
However the intro was just a huge stating-of-the-bloody-obvious. You all knew that. If you disagree, well your opinion isn't worth *that* much and you should just close the window and get it over with. The real observation regards the migration from one beer to the other. Beer transitions exist in all of us. We all have our staple beer which we seek for when we go get a pizza from Sofra, a drink from Leli's or slowly get drunk at Dive Bar. Everyone has his choice. Surprisingly enough, the choice seems to change from time to time. I remember the time when I was utterly infatuated by Budweiser, which I consider to be bottled piss today. I had coasters, a Zippo and some memorabilia, all of which I have lost through the ages. Even further back there was Heineken, which is now widely considered to be the "hamallu" beer of choice. It may just be my opinion, but still, this is my blog and this is where I state my opinion.
I have also migrated breifly to Becks, which is still a great choice, various pale and dark ales as well as the occasional cheap alternative beer which you find available in most fast food restaurants like Skol, Bavaria, Efes etc...
However when it comes down to it, even though the actual World Beer Awards have not been found on the internets, I still agree that yes, Cisk is in fact the world's best beer. Sure, I may enjoy the occasional Guiness but still, the staple beer is Cisk, which has never failed to disappoint. And the actual theory which has, in fact, been brought up during a highness session, is that, no matter how much you run from one beer to another, and even though it is natural for people to temporarily switch to other beers, at the end of the day, we all switch back to Cisk, which will always be the best if you have been exposed to it at any point. Which is also why tourists come here requesting local lager, and also the reason why I know foreigners who request Cisk when Maltese people visit!
So yeah, a theory which is a tribute to Cisk. Not as crappy as the last entry, yet a crappy blog entry nonetheless. Which reminds me, I'm spending too much time with Munita :( 4月10日 The Joint Sharing TheoryThe Joint Sharing Law, more commonly referred to as the Joint Sharing Theory or JST is a basic law of human nature which explains group relationships. (huh?). Yeah...here is the article which I use as an excuse when people ask me why I made a blog. Original concept by IWCBH Subject #1.
Explanation
The JST describes what happens when a group of people are involved in any activity which requires the participants to share resourses. While extremely simple it portrays it's effects in many places and is accurate in many situations. Imagine a group of people, sitting in a circle taking turns to use a single resource. It can be anything really, a gameboy, looking at a photo which has just been taken, or an earbud attached to an MP3 player playing 'Virtual Barbershop'. But for this argument we shall assume that the resource is a joint. If you don't know what it is, then just assume it's a gameboy. Now this item will stay in possesion of a single user for a predetermined span of time. Obviously everyone will try and cheat and use as much of the resourse, but the next in line will be paying attention that such a thing will not happen so as not to upset the balance of nature. To observe this phenomenon one must focus on a single participant and observe his/her actions. As the joint approaches this user, such that he is the next in line, he will subconciously enter a sort of 'alert mode', making sure to observe when it's time for him to obtain the resource. When the signal is given, the user will stretch out, often requiring him to discomfort himself to obtain the resourse. Almost immediatly he will return to his original position or preferably in a more comfortable and/or secluded position. Once the time is up and the user is ready to move the joint the situation changes. At this point he will not stretch himself out to hand the resource to the next in line, but rather, stay in the same comfy position, secretly making use of what is still within his grasp. At that point the next in line will be the one to stretch out and reach for the joint. This effect will continue around the circle ad infinitum.
JST definition: Any person interacting within a group will go through an effort to obtain a resource but will make no effort to pass it on.
Applications and Implications
Learning to use this basic law is an extremly important lesson in life. "But," you say whilst scratching your beard and looking at a slightly elevated angle, "what is there to learn from such a simple and basic feature of human interaction?" Well, considering it's so simple you should figure it out on your own...no? Anyway, let me explain. Lets assume you and your friends are in a circle sharing a joint. Directly to your right is one person, and on your left, maybe a half a metre away is another person and you are the person who gets to decide the direction of flow. Now since you, most likely, are in a comfortable postion you would instintively pass it to your right, since it requires the least amount of movement. However, when the thing goes around, you'll be further away from the person on your left, and the JST kicks in requiring you to stretch to obtain the joint. Therefore, in these situations it is always best to hand it to the person who is furthest away from you, since in reality, he will be the one to make an effor to retreive the joint making somewhat no difference to you. However when it's back to being your turn, you are close and will require less effort. Since this is an analogy, I will explain it in non-examplar form. When a resource needs to be passed between several people, always give it to the person who will make it the most difficult to get it from. That way someone else will have to get it from him and you get an easy way out.
The second thing to keep in mind is this. If you want someone to do something for you, don't expect him/her to come bothering you to do it. When you need someone, or someone is doing you a favour, don't expect this person to come running after you. So if you need something, go and get it yourself and don't expect a computer expert to go out of his way so he can install an application on your PC. That is also under the effect of the JST since in group activity the one who is comfortable will not move to hand something to another person who needs it.
And that was the JST. Now you know it... 2月23日 The Formula to SuccessFerry, driving, mindless thinking.ehe...the usual introductary note goes here.
I just realized something, it's mostly a 'well duh' thing but here goes. Have you ever noticed that, well, how to explain this. Let's just use a basic example.
I, as a somewhat typical male (checks...yes...) am attracted to women. And for most males, the ideal qualities a perfect partner would have would be the following:
Do you see the problem? The preferred traits describe another man. WTF? It is a 'well duh' thing but it also is somewhat disturbing. Hmmm... Similarly for women, I would guess they like the following qualities in men:
Same story. No normal man likes shopping. I'm confused. I guess gays are the smart ones who just gave up looking for a man in woman's body and just took the easy way out and took a man in a man's body. Bleh...the odds of success in life are shrinking but at least you can emulate the rest of your measly existence by playing this awesomely artsy game. And since this is such a short post I'll leave you with the full, unabridged, complete list of achievments I have had in the last year or so:
I know I should put some form of transparency on the above image...but...meh. 11月22日 If We Could Be Heroes... (Part II)Part Two of IWCBH (I dare you to pronounce that) I shall examine another subject and decide the Hero Profile for this person. No introduction is really required for this highly acclaimed, world-reknowned segment but the obligatory paragraph should always be available before any important document.
Name:
Andrew Specimen Num: #02 Character Profile: An lively, hardworking subject, the second specimen is somewhat a strange creature. Very versatile in all environments and is able to make himself at home in all situations. He marks his territory by sleeping on any horizontal surface, permanently scaveging for food to make sure he is not in any danger of starvation, and while no records have been found of the subject actually urinating around his territory, a defensive skunk-like mechanism is released every few minutes to show his presence. Oddly enough, on rare occasions the creature will be offend itself and decide to run home to his own abode. The fact whether the actual 'home' of this person exists is not actually confirmed but he does go somewhere sometimes. That being said this hard-working subject know his life to the fullest and can endure several consecutive hours of TV watching and hates to spend a single second without doing something. (E.g. Start PS3, while waiting for PS3 game to load starts PSP, while waiting for PSP to load starts DS, while waiting for DS to load makes a toast). Loves winning, hates losing. Great memory; loves to study at wee hours of the morning. Powers:
Hero Profile: The similarities are quite obvious. Lets start off. Bruce Banner, a seemingly normal scientist, gets angry and immediatly turns into a huge uber-strong monster of incredible strength. (Instant Buffness...check). The Hulk runs around the city destroying everything in sight (Breaking...check). If that was not clear enough the catchphrase of this Hulk is "Hulk SMASH, hulk BASH". Yes, he breaks lots of stuff. After a night of rampage which would involved killing some supervillians he would then run back home and sleep. For a long time. Usually on a tree. Or some other horizontal surface. Anywhere really is good for the Hulk. The Hulk has other incredible powers: he can survive in space, breathe underwater and is immune to all diseases and poisons. This proves the versatility. Whether the Hulk eats a lot is not known but we can assume that after all that breaking he'd have a hell of an apetite. However as far as absorption goes, he did absorb a bunch of gamma radiation to get this way. Finally, when all is said and done, whether it was him or not, everyone blames the Hulk. I'll be honest. The first profile matched was not the Hulk. It was WiiFit. Why you ask? Well here are the similarities: Everyone blames it, increases muscles (uuuuq!!), destroys gaming, will spend most time sleeping a couple of weeks after purchase. 6月27日 The Rare Crayon TheoryAdmittedly, I'm a wee bit drunk, but here goes.
This is a theory which has popped up in my head several times and while the origin of it has happened quite a few years ago it stuck with me as a very distinct personality trait which exhibits itself in several individuals. Given also is the fact that I am no psycologist. Hell I don't even know a real psycologist but such things do not need expertise in the subject to be documented. For all I know the Nobel Prize for Human Psychology (does that exist...actually how do you spell sajkologie?) may be waiting for me when some nerdy Noble Prize giver person reads this...
Anyway, this is not meant to witty, funny or entertaining in any way, but the reason why I wrote this does exist and you will find out sooner or later.
The Rare Crayon TheoryThe Rare Crayon Theory - Exhibit #01
The story how I came up with this goes a way back. Up to either Year 2 or Year 3 of my primary school. For some odd reason we used to have an art class where we were instructed to draw something on a certain subject. At that time no interesting subject did actually come up and most of our topics were 'cold', 'summer', 'vegetables', 'the circus' and other abstract topics. That being said, each year, starting from Year 1 and up to Form 5, each student would start the year anew and have a new pencil case, a colouring (yes that *IS* the way you spell colour you filthy American readers) set, a set of compasses and protractors and a stencil to draw squares, circles, test tubes, Venn diagrams, bunsen burners and triangles. Going on to the actual personality trait, I will simply deal with the colouring set. Each student, and by that I mean every, single student had a set of crayons or coloured pencils. Yes, even if you don't remember, you had one. A wide assortment of colours ranging from red to violet, each of which can be associated with a particular RGB value such that any possible component of white light can be drawn. Some had crayons, some had gem markers, some had coloured pencils. The point stands that everyone had his colouring set.
I remember a particular person, S.G. (let's call him Esgee), you don't know him but it's irrelevant, who had an awesome, enviable set. It had all of the above, all of them, arranged in a carry pack, together with water colours and paint tubes as well as two delicate paint brushes, both of perfect size to draw outlines and fill in the area. But the most impressive of all was a single 'rare crayon' which had the most amazing shade of turquoise which none of us had never seen before. Despite all of our colour knowledge, the colours were fairly obvious. Six distinct colours, each representing a colour of the rainbow (no one knows what indigo is) and some obvious shades like lime/olive green and brown and gray. No one had seen this 'turquoise' before.
So anyway, like everyone else, Esgee was impressed by this rare crayon, and insisted on not using it in such a futile project as one which involves painting scenery which represents cold. And so the theory was born. Up to Year 6, the last year I personally spoke to this person, he had never used this crayon. The colouring set was the same, yet the turquoise crayon was unscathed, unused. For all I know he outgrew the drawing era, and the whole set was thrown away and this marvellous unique crayon was thrown away, unused, simply because there was never an application worthy of it's use.
While this may seem relatively straightforward to normal people, it stuck with me. I like to use stuff which is unique. I like to fulfil its potential in every possible way. The most obvious example is the when mobile phones emerged. People used to have mobile phones. All of them. One of them had one which had games(!!) and, and the screen could light up in four different colours. But did they call people with them. Nooo!!! God forbid we should do such a thing, that costs money. The mobile was simply a status symbol, only there to show off to other people, but most definitely not to call people. I mean, duh, a cellphone is made for games and light up screens. Nintendo was the company which made Gameboys for phoning. These were only for playing games...DUH!!!
The Rare Crayon Theory - Exhibit #02
Other people work in an opposite manner. They have created the ultimate masterpiece. The Mona Lisa. It's almost finished except for that smile. We need white paint. But not just any white paint. It must be the same colour as teeth. Exactly the same colour. So let's leave the masterpiece there, wait for the right crayon to come along, and when it does, we'll finish the picture and reveal it to the world.
In my humble opinion, these people are worse than those of exhibit 01. They seek perfection yet never look for it. "Let's get a new stereo, it's got to be really good, but I'm just gonna stay here and wait for one to appear". What's the point?!?!1?one? Just get one which works then, or else look for one which is perfect and get it. No one ever got anything from just waiting for it to appear. If you really want something you have to either satisfy yourself with what is available or look for what you really want and get it. There is no reason to not be happy with a crappy smile-colour when you don't want to look for a perfect smile-colour. Just decide and act on what you really want.
That was my RCT. It's dumb but I can assure you many people know other people who are like that. Its nothing tragic really, but the morale of the story is:
Use what you got even if it's priceless, unless you want to look for what could be better and then use that.
End. 6月18日 If We Could Be Heroes... (Part I)Or the 'What superpowers do you have?' segment of the blog. Throughout the ages, I have spent an unreasonable amount of time driving from Msida to Cirkewwa and waiting for the ferry. Before I was blessed by the great gifts of my pure, virgin white Nintendo DS Lite (with extendable stylus, carry case, headphones and cloth) that amounted to pretty much, approximately 4 hours of my week. Sum that up over the number of years and you get a lot of hours (I'm not actually bothering with the calculation) which have been wasted. Today, the wasted part is only the part when I'm driving (more on how much I hate driving in a few hundred posts), however my mind often wanders, and ends up thinking about pointless fantasy worlds, where everything is complicated and everything is possible. One of my common thoughts is what powers I would have. Couple that with the fact that I like to observe people's actions (for some strange, strange reason) and you get a huge list of possible superpowers (mostly not that super really...) for people I know. Thus I shall be exhibiting my first subject.
Name: Ian Specimen Num: #01 Character Profile: A somewhat shy creature, very interested in politics, history, insurance, geography and alloy wheels. Very pleasant to hang out with but has a very common tendency to not be in the mood ("m'ghandix mohh" or "m'ghandix aptit"). "For what" you ask? It could be anything, including typing words in MSN during a chat or e-mail discussion which may decide the fate of the universe. Has a firm grasp on reality and the space bar. Powers:
Hero Profile:
Naked Snake
First off. Both 'Naked Snake' and 'Big Boss' somewhat fit the character. Big Boss is also very resistant to torture even though we don't know how good he is at retaining information under the influence of alcohol. His stamina, like the subject's is incredible and is knowledgeable in both history and geography. Follows orders very obidiently but never seems to give on to anything he has done in the past. He gets a somewhat distrubing amount of pleasure in eating packets of thin, flavoured cardboard strips (noodles). Speaking of cardboard, we both know that both the subject and Big Boss can fit quite comfortably in a cardboard box.
Big Boss' destructive powers are incredible and hereditary. He has successfully destroyed the Shagohod and between him and his decendants he destroyed about 200 Metal Gears, a machine which hundreds of noble scientists gave their all to build. And let's face it, when it was absolutely, positively necessary, he did beat up The Boss (a woman).
He is of course...a true hero.
Tune in some other next time for my next subject in "If We Could Be Heroes"... |
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