| Joseph 的个人资料The Theory of Nothing照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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10月30日 Probably a Quad-Core with HyperThreading So there I was, a fairly untypical evening if I do say so myself. As I was watching (and finally understanding) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this incredibly hot 23 year-old, which we shall call Naomi, was giving me the best head I ever got. I could go into the details of that but I'm pretty sure you don't really care about how the first part of the movie is easily foreshadowing the rest of the story in a subtle way. At the same time, I was just reaching the final level of Crush on the PSP and I absentmindedly reached out and took a sip of my beer which was inconveniently placed on top of a house of cards. And I thought to myself: "Why is it that they say that women are better than men at multi-tasking?" I distinctly remember I had managed to come up with perfectly good proof, complete with example of why that wasn't the case, but at that moment Naomi hung up from the phone and told me: "Here I just made you a sandwich." And I thought: "Mmmm, sammich," and that's all I remember... 10月26日 Everything I Do...Hi all!! By now you should know me well enough to know that I like to complain. This is my personal ranting space and while you all think I'm a sad, angered bastard, I would like to inform you, that while it is not technically incorrect, there is no one holding a gun to your head at this moment and you know why you've subscribed to the RSS feed. You just flat out love it. So I'm trying to change a little, I'm trying to quit smoking, which although is failing miserably in the 'quitting' department, is actually going quite well in the 'reduced the number' area. I do apologize to all of you when I steal your cigarettes, but if I buy my own pack I can't control myself. In general, all you have to do is be around when I do have and you will get plenty (especially if I'm drunk). On the downside, I'm testy a lot. Deal with it, it's your fault. I've also greatly reduced the amount of beer I'm drinking. No particular reason, a little of wanting to reduce the belly, a little of just being sick of it after the whole summer. Another bit because it's too hard to find Guinness Surgers which would immediately invalidate the previous point and also greatly increase my private consumption and possibly make me hate Guinness. Doubtful, but yeah. What else, oh yeah, I'm going running sometimes. Given, not that much but you shouldn't be surprised to find out that while 7 times a week is a lot more than 3 times every month, 3 times a month is more than infinitely more than 0 times because, 0 × ∞ = 0! So yeah, much better than nothing. Potentially, all of the above things should help me live longer, or a healthier life or whatever. But really, what's the point in that? I've pretty much quit gaming except for that half an hour I spend playing Scribblenauts on the crapper and the occasional Tale of Monkey Island which is usually done in 3 - 4 hours. By the time I get off work it's already dark. Makes it feel like the day is already over with nothing much to do. Drugs are illegal these days. The only contact with women I have are those who are either unavailable, consider me as a general entity rather than a potential mate (guh...friends) or will lead me through some sort of shenanigan which will undoubtedly blow up in my face. No, not literally. And then I'll never see them/speak to again. As for work...meh! One Piece is all right. That's something to look forward to. The weekend binges are awesome. In a way I think I'm doing the above to compensate for the massive (used correctly) amounts of alcoholz I'm drinking at the weekends. Awesome. So yeah, everything I do, I do it for you! 9月1日 No. Really. I think they're just wasting money. Now I know it's not really any of my business, but it still doesn't mean that it doesn't directly affect me. See while others are still wondering what the hell happened to ancient promises like round corners and flying cars, I tend to take a different approach. The main reason is that most of these promises were made during the Cold War and most of them were made by the Americans in hope of being better than the Russians. The year 2000 seemed so far away back then. They had just come out of twenty-something wars in a period where technology was booming, what with the invention of the radar and the computer and all the rest. Strictly speaking extrapolating on what had been achieved in the previous twenty years or so, it wasn't to far fetched to think we'd be taking our hovercar through the matter transporter into Saturn where we could all run around in our jetpacks and eat a seven course meal in pill form. Okay, maybe a little far fetched but then again, unless you are a silly romantic American you're not going to really believe that. And so here we are. 2009. The only real difference between today and 1999 is that computers are as powerful as 1999 supercomputers, phones are as powerful as 1999 computers and we're in an economic crisis. I wasn't really expecting a flying car. I actually don't find the whole concept of flying cars that feasible. I was hoping, but not expecting. Now hoverboards! Yes, we should totally have hoverboards prototypes by now. But we're not getting them. The thing is, that really, these failed promises, don't really bug me that much. I promised myself I'd buy a Jaguar XK8 one day and I'm not even considering it any more. The salesman at Galaxy Electronics in Tottenham Court Road promised me the netbook is perfectly fine to use and that I wouldn't find a cheaper deal in all of London but that didn't turn out so well either. I promised myself that I wouldn't write a wall of text and I haven't even got to the point yet but anyway. The point is I stumble. A lot. I'm addicted to stumbling. I have over 32000 stumbles and counting and besides porn and flash games under my selected categories I happen to have science, which I tend to find interesting. Many new discoveries are made every single day, which made me realize one thing. Things are discovered every day, and they promise cars which run on seawater or compressed air. Television sets within contact lenses. Bone fractures healed in minutes. OLED paper as cheap newspapers. Now keep this in mind. These. Have. Been. Already. Discovered. They know how to make them. Then why the bloody hell don't we have them by now? I remember way before SSDs were introduced, some technology which allowed up to 40gigabytes to be saved on to a 1x1cm die. Today you just get a bloody blu-ray which takes three years to load the loading screen of a game. Technology to transfer up to 5 gigabytes over a wire in one second. What happened to that? Takes me some 10 seconds to load GMail on my 20Mbit connection. What do they do with this technology? Do they just go: "Oh, okay, it can be done! On to the next project. We'll look back into this some other time"? Why do our cars still need petrol or diesel to run? Why is it that some high school student found a bacteria that degenerates plastic but we have to pay €0.35 per bag when we go to the supermarket? Just stop wasting money on research which won't be used. It really isn't that hard to grasp. They just keep raising my hopes. Daily. I think: "Oh cool! In a couple of years I'll be able to charge my mobile phone wirelessly because they've just discovered power over wireless. And here I am, two years later, carrying my charger around all the time because it can't even hold a charge for more than 18 hours. Idiots. 6月14日 Not just to 'appear offline'The truth is, that in reality, superpowers aren't as awesome as they've been hyped up to be. Some of them are, but let's assume you can shoot beams out of your eyes, that means that when you're saving a damsel in distress from your evil arch nemesis, you're probably gonna give her 3rd degree burns on her massive tits or sweet ass. Which doesn't really make you much of a hero. Super strength? One sneeze and you would have to buy new furnitures. Elastic body? Penile dysfunction. Mutant spider powers? Take off your shoes every time you want to scale a building. Why am I telling you this, you may ask? Well, I'm going to let you in on a secret. I have superpowers - I can turn invisible. It sucks. Let me explain some physics to you guys.
Anyway, you know my secret now. So remember, if you open my room suddenly and see porn playing on the PC, I'm probably actually there, but you guys startled me and I turned my self invisible. 4月25日 Observation #37: My friends are getting lazier and lazier... While we were never known as the 'industrious bunch' per sé it has come to my attention that as time goes by, the group in general gets lazier. The usual not getting anything done is now somewhat a standard but it has hit me that this laziness has hit a new extreme low, or high actually. It has invaded the territory of romance. Well basically, while my effect of laziness over romance seems to have taken the easy way out, what with me giving up on the whole idea since it doesn't work for me, I have noticed that this is quite a general trend throughout the world as seen in the following graph:  However, it has come extremely fashionable for those who actually do have anything going on, to have chosen the simplest (or laziest if you must) way out by simply nabbing someone who is conveniently from your current workplace. While this has been going on for a while I have realized that in fact, from my current group of people I tend to generally hang out with only one is non-single and disobeying the above observation. Well bravo to you all - and yes I'm writing this because I'm alone and unloved :( (Also, cause there are no hot chicks at my workplace :( ) 4月19日 The Purpose of the Universe While on my daily mission to stumble upon what has been added to the internets, I came across (or stumbled if you must) a page in which the some foundation ask people about the Big Questions. Does the universe have a purpose? Well, I have never pondered upon that question myself but it is somewhat close to what Deep Thought was looking for when finding the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. Sure, the question posed here is much simpler, requiring only a yes/no answer, but still, do you think there is a purpose to this universe? Was it only created (the whole immensely huge thing) just so that a particular rock which just happens to be the third closest planet to a particular star could form life over billions of years just so that we could start wars and tear each other apart. Well, probably yes, but then again, probably no. What am I saying? I have no idea to be honest, but I'm trying to flesh out the blog entry since I am pretty sure that I have in fact found the purpose of the universe. I have conducted extensive research, cross examined evidence, analyzed data and I have reached the conclusion that the universe was created for one purpose. The purpose of the universe is to screw with me. 3月20日 The things I've learned. Chapter 2 - Situational Comedies As you all who know me know, I enjoy sitcoms quite a bit. Unfortunately for me, while I still find them to be teh funnies, it is somewhat disappointing to see the same ideas recycled throughout all sitcoms because you know exactly what's going to happen. Furthermore the layout, setting, actors and actions of these sitcoms tend to converge and here I will show you how this is so.
3月3日 Mostly Speculative In this boring mundane life everyone reaches a point in life where everything is just a routine. You get up, you go to work, you wait for the break, go eat from the usual two or three places, return the work, leave work, go home, go grab a beer, complain that there is no beer in the fridge, sit in front of the TV, play Rockband, eat, watch Friends, go the sleep. It gets slightly sadder when you take a higher view into the same life and zoom out from one day to one week. Monday - work, Tuesday - work, Wednesday - work, Thursday - work, Friday - work, go home, go out, get drunk, argue with your best friend, go home, Saturday - wake up late, splitting headache, eat pastizzi from Jeffs, stay curled up all day, propose going out, stay in, sleep. Sunday - Jubilee, Rockband, Friends, sleep. And that's pretty much it. Life as I experience it. Not that I have anything to complain about, but, really, when you look at it this way you realize that there is nothing really going on which is extraordinary. Luckily for us, we have a great asset at our disposal. And while I could've just move on directly to the topic at hand, which is the true asset I am referring to, I have chosen to use the aforementioned asset to refer to the 'spice of life' which we all know and love. And with that we reach imagination, the main topic, or theme, if you like, of this entry. Imagination is a wonderful thing. Not only has it given us (I literally mean us, the author and his friends, not us, the human population of the world) exciting products such as the E³B (electronic belly button brush) and "just add water girl-satchets" (which allows you to live your wildest dreams simply by adding water to a satchet which in turn forms a beautiful woman which will dissolve some hour or so later), but it has given us tons of laughs by imagining what it would've been like if the post office opened a package which contained 100% pure vacuum and what it would be like to be trapped in an apartment doing illegal things when a swat team bursts in to arrest you. Sure some of these things may have been slightly over-exaggeration. Actually, all of these things were only exaggerations of some previous train of thought which derailed and crashed into an symposium of relativistic scientists. Which brings us to time travel. The funnest part about time travel is not only the escapades you would do with your younger self, but mostly the speculations as to what would have happened if only a minor detail were to be changed in what has previously happened. How different would my life be if I hadn't taken the car out the first day I got my licence? Or if I had managed to cheat just a little better and got a 45 in the exam which was basically the reason why I got thrown out of university. Or if the sun wasn't to hot that fateful day. Threading into stranger grounds, what if we only changed a minor detail in this life, or in the universe. Simply disregarding a simple law of physics or biology. If only bacon grew on trees, ah, what a wonderful world that would be. If only we could really have superpowers. I'm not talking about having superstrength and x-ray vision, but minor changes like being able to know time instinctively or visualize music. Well, that is what imagination is for. It is mostly a speculative exercise - but an awesome one none-the-less. And so I will leave you with this. What if I hadn't done this entry today? Would you respect me more? (depends if respect can go into negative levels because 0 - 10 would still be 0) Or would you still be missing the dry period this blog has had in the past month? I don't know son, I don't...know... 9月15日 Fresh Stories out of the Black BookNow here's a story I really shouldn't be publishing on an online blog. It's a story that happened well over 10 years ago, it's still imprinted in my brain and to this day no one knows about it except maybe one or two people. It's scary as hell and you probably won't believe it really happened. But still, I recently read that this was all settled and so theoritically I shouldn't be in any trouble or danger by spilling the beans now. If you don't see me in a week or so, you can safely assume that I was wrong.
So anyway. This happened a while ago - probably '96 or '97. Don't know the exact year but basically it was a time when summer was still an exciting thing. When work didn't exist, when Lm2 was enough to buy me a hot dog from 'Cajc' and a soft ice cream from 'Granola' every day for a week. When swimming involved actual time in the water and not sunbathing. Alcohol, driving and hangovers were only a far away dream and the most exciting thing that could've happened was getting kicked out of 'Cocktails' or 'Creek' for trying to sneak in and play a game of pool. The heat was probably more bearable at that time but we did our very best to keep the required sweat level constant by playing extravagant games, riding our bikes non stop and basically living in our own fucked up fantasy world. It was awesome.
We considered ourselves to be the 'Kings of Marsalforn'. Basically every waking moment not spent waiting for Alex (and bros) to be ready, we were running around causing destruction and mayhem somewhere in Marsalforn. Okay, not so much 'destruction and mayhem' as 'harmless fun which we thought was much worse than it is' but we were fairly annoying brats and our high speed chases on rollerblades/mountain bikes were, in retrospect, rather dangerous considering the volume of traffic/crazy drivers in Marsalforn.
One of our games was the traditional hide and seek. Or cops and robbers. I'm not sure. Anyway, some have to hide, some have to find the ones hidden. Being moderate folks ourselves, we set the limit of places we could run off to, to, well, basically all of Marsalforn. And while it doesn't seem like the largest place on earth, there are a lot of places to hide there. Anyway, in our street in Marsalforn there was (still is actually, but it's going to be torn down soon) this old house. No one lives there and despite having about seventeen "Min jitfa zibel aw jigi imkarrek" signs it was always full of rubbish so as to make it a better eyesore than it already was. Well, the other people called it an eyesore. I called it: "The perfect hiding place". So one day, while playing hide and robbers (or something), I decided to run along and go in there. I mean, really, who would think of looking for me in there. It was almost dark when I went in, to make the experience even scarier, but having been a scout, I was always prepared and I took a torch with me, intending to go up the balcony and look down below (otherwise they would've never found me...).
So I'm in this creaky old place, when I hear a noise from the level below. I immediatly got a fright since I hadn't seen anyone come in from the front entrance. I dashed in to hear two men speaking. I couldn't quite understand what they were saying but there were a few 'aqalla's and 'aqalmadunna's in that conversation. They were waiting for someone. I immediatly stopped breathing. There was no way to sneak outside and, well, showing myself wasn't such a good idea considering that my parents lived maybe 7 or 8 doors away and would give me the yelling of a lifetime had they known I went in there. After a while another guy appears. Apparently there was back entrance which could be accessed from the field at the back of the block. And that's when all hell broke loose.
Lovely.
The guy apparently didn't have the money, but had some goods. The first two blokes apparently didn't give a flying fuck about goods they just wanted their Lm120,000 back. At that moment I thought: "Well, the yelling of a lifetime would sound really great right about now". After a heated argument which lasted, at most, 7 minutes another guy came in. Apparently he was with the first two mafiosi. He immediatly started beating the living shit out of the one with debt. It was like watching an action movie. But not quite as fun. I may have pissed my pants at that point. No wait. That was when the first guy got out his gun, put it against the head of guy on the floor who was a bloody mess at this point. "Next week, or you're dead." And that's when I pissed my pants.
"Oh. My. God. I'm gonna die" Unfortunately for you, I didn't. I wasn't noticed. I wasn't a witness to the murder and had to have been transferred to a witness protection program in Alabama or something. I just stayed there. The trio left leaving the beat up shell of a man on the floor. He didn't look quite dead yet, but he wasn't moving. After giving ample time to make sure they had left and the guy had passed out, I dashed out the house and ran non stop to our flat.
I was crying at this point. I had the greatest panic attack of my life. My mother demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me and I told her. At that point she got really scared and said: "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said 'Fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare, but I thought "No forget it" - "Yo homes to Bel Air."
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. 8月29日 Zeppu's Ultimate Guide to Picking UpPrepare to be amazed. I will tell you my secrets. Zeppu's ultimate guide to picking up has a 100% success rate unless of course, it involves something which is way, way, way out of your capabilities.
Okay so let's start. The first thing to do is to acquire the target to be picked up. It really shouldn't be hard, because, well everything in life has a purpose and there isn't much point in picking up if you haven't thought about and feel the need that it's something which needs to be done. Okay. The next step is to make an unbiased judgement. Will you be able to pick this up on your own? Do you think you will require some extra help? If you think you need help do not be afraid to ask. Sure we are men and we like to pretend like we can do it all on our own, but sometimes it's just impossible to do it on your own.
Okay, now, doing it with someone helping you is another technique and I shall not be covering this in this entry so I'll just tell you how to do it solo. So, the first thing to do is approach the object. If you think it's a light object, simply use a single hand, put it around it, and use your hand muscles to pick it up. However if you think that it will be heavier I would suggest you use both hands around it, grab two edges which are easy to hold on to and lift. Now which a heavy object, remember, you do not want to hurt your back, so don't bend over and try to straighten your back because that can cause you harm. The best technique is to bend your knees, grab the object and then straighten your knees such that the effort is all done with your legs.
And there you have it. Picking stuff up made easy. I hope this was useful to you.
Regards 7月15日 Preparing the ListAs all of you who know me know, one of my greatest flaws would probably have to be that I procrastinate too much. I know it's a thing which can lead to a lot of big problems and I promise you I'll work on stopping this procrastination...later...someday. However this isn't about procrastination per se. It's more of the planning for things which never come to fruition. How often have we all done that really? Hey guys, you know what we should do? Dub a southpark episode in Maltese. No let's create a Mario mushroom with mosaic. Write a story. Start a sitcom in our flat. Go eat at Tmun someday. Go to the gym.
Okay some of them are simply outrageous and will never be realized. However a few of them could easily be done with with a little effort. And usually it's the starting point which is the most painful part. When we decided to put LEDs in our skirting, it seemed like a great idea (Frosties great, not just normal great) but it was put off when we realized the effort we had to put into it. Then one day we decided...
Eeeh fuck it...
bye. 7月7日 Beer ScienceNow many of you probably don't know who Dave Barry is. Hell, I didn't know who Dave Barry was before I looked it up on wiki. He's some kind of American columnist/humourist or whatever. I don't really care to be perfectly honest. Point still stands that this guy said something very very important:
And, well, let's face it. There are several levels about how right you can be, and this guy, well, he's at the very top. Beer is just awesome on so many levels.
However the intro was just a huge stating-of-the-bloody-obvious. You all knew that. If you disagree, well your opinion isn't worth *that* much and you should just close the window and get it over with. The real observation regards the migration from one beer to the other. Beer transitions exist in all of us. We all have our staple beer which we seek for when we go get a pizza from Sofra, a drink from Leli's or slowly get drunk at Dive Bar. Everyone has his choice. Surprisingly enough, the choice seems to change from time to time. I remember the time when I was utterly infatuated by Budweiser, which I consider to be bottled piss today. I had coasters, a Zippo and some memorabilia, all of which I have lost through the ages. Even further back there was Heineken, which is now widely considered to be the "hamallu" beer of choice. It may just be my opinion, but still, this is my blog and this is where I state my opinion.
I have also migrated breifly to Becks, which is still a great choice, various pale and dark ales as well as the occasional cheap alternative beer which you find available in most fast food restaurants like Skol, Bavaria, Efes etc...
However when it comes down to it, even though the actual World Beer Awards have not been found on the internets, I still agree that yes, Cisk is in fact the world's best beer. Sure, I may enjoy the occasional Guiness but still, the staple beer is Cisk, which has never failed to disappoint. And the actual theory which has, in fact, been brought up during a highness session, is that, no matter how much you run from one beer to another, and even though it is natural for people to temporarily switch to other beers, at the end of the day, we all switch back to Cisk, which will always be the best if you have been exposed to it at any point. Which is also why tourists come here requesting local lager, and also the reason why I know foreigners who request Cisk when Maltese people visit!
So yeah, a theory which is a tribute to Cisk. Not as crappy as the last entry, yet a crappy blog entry nonetheless. Which reminds me, I'm spending too much time with Munita :( 7月1日 A HYPErbolic Study into ExpectationsYeah, well, sometimes it just sucks the way you start getting on edge over things which are upcoming. Well, no. It always sucks. It's just the way it works. Some of you were probably hyped up by the fact that "my next blog entry is gonna be awesome" but I don't think it really will be. But I'll decide after I'm done with this.
Well google defines hyperbolic as the following:
"enlarged beyond truth or reasonableness"
I'm not HotForWords but I'm pretty sure that hype is derived from that word. I don't get it. The more you are excited for something the higher are the odds of it sucking when you really get to it. Now let me get this straight, hype can be attributed very easily to girls. Lots of girls have a reputation of how incredibly hot they are yet are less so when you actually get to meet them. In that case, if the odds of sucking are high then you are in for a good time, however I'm using the word sucking in a figurative fashion and therfore I mean delusional more than the actual act of creating a vacuum causing the air to be 'sucked' in some pleasurely (?) form. Anyway, yeah, lots of girls have an amazing reputation of how hot and desirable they are, only to get to meet them and realize that really, they're nothing that special. The exceptions with females is that if the hype is big enough you actually get to like and attempt to succeed with said person only because of the hyperbola which was raised earlier. I can mention a few women who I have ended up liking only because of their reputation. It's strange but it happens.
Anyway moving to the actual topic at hand, hype sucks. It always does. By definition the talk about something will be much higher than the actual product at hand, and even if something in itself is amazing in every possible fashion, if you have been talking/reading/getting excited before, odds are quite high you'll get disappointed when you actually get to it. Take video games for example. God knows how excited I was for SSBB and MGS4. Now it's not to say that these games are bad per se, but the actual lead to them was so incredible that you end up expecting waaaay too much and that value is unobtainable unless it stays in your head. This happens with tons of things, including movies, games, parties, serieses, restaurants and others.
The worst part, however is becoming overhyped. The expectations raised by some people is amazing. Being told that something is "the best thing ever" is immediatly overhyping it because, really, Cisk, Alive 2007 and One Piece already exist and it's already too late for everything else. Hearing "WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN TONIGHT!" over and over really dulls the senses and if something goes bed on the best night ever it will put the credibility of everything else which is said after that point at stake. But then there is another form of overhype. Take Neon Genesis Evangelion. If you've been either to any place on the internet, or spoken to anyone who is somewhat anime-savvy, they'll tell you what an awesomely awesome anime it is and how the story is so incredibly deep that falling into it would cause you to die of starvation before actually hitting the bottom.
Well no. It's not that great. It's nice at most. The story is absolute crap, with so many blank spaces and ambiguity that everyone can make their own conclusions which they themselves find to be great. They aren't. It's just giant robot fighting weird creatures. We've done that before. With actual storylines, where things happen and people actually speak to each other. Let me give you a briefing of the greatest story in the universe:
There is this guy right, and he can control the elements and controls giant robots. He meets this cute girl. <cut> Someone dies. <cut> Evil monster is destroyed. <cut> Main character masturbates. <cut> Sex Scene. <cut> The main character dies a tragic death. End.
OMG WAS THAT NOT LIEK TOTALLY TEH BESTEST THING EVER. No. It wasn't. Fuck you.
My point? Nothing, but at least I didn't tell you it was gonna be awesome before did I? Oh. Shit :/ 4月25日 Thinking of tomorrowSo yeah, I have nothing to talk about today, but I feel like talking to my faithful audience who have stood through thick and thin to listen to my idiotic banter. I've been thinking. It hurts a bit cos i'm not used to it, but I still do it. I have come to a conclusion. Let me see if you have the same views as I have.
Have you ever been in a situation, like on a roof of a building, with the sunset in your eyes, and you say to yourself: "Life is good." No particular reason why you would think that, but nothing is bothering you, nothing is really that good when you actually think about it. You're broke, you have work to do, you have a thesis to finish, but at that point, life is really good. At moments like these I feel everything and sorrow, but everything seems to be okay. Nothing is bothering you. You feel at ease with everythng around you and you realize that no matter how much shit is waiting around the corner after you leave that particular place, at that very moment, you are enjoying some of the best feelings life can offer. It can be something as simple as looking at the sunset while having a beer at the expense of your emplyoing company who pays you quite a bit of money to stay around in your office and do nothing. Or you can just be chilling out with your closest of friends enjoying a bottle of vodka to celebrate, well, basically nothing. That's when it realy feels awseome. And you could possibly enjoy that moment forever, even though it really is nothing special and just the weather conditions are what making it special.
Because really, this is life. You have to hang on to the things which really make you happy. Otherwise you'll just throw yourself into a spiralling depression which you'll never be able to get out of because, let's face it, life really is a bitch. Everything is going against you if you choose to look at it that way. However if you pick the right angle, and look at what is better than what was before you'll find that every step of what you've ever done has led you to the person you are now. And I am pretty sure that no matter who you are, you are happy to look at yourself and say that everything will be cool if my plans turn out okay. Sure somethings are hard. Some things may seem impossible at this point. But all you have to keep in mind is that I'm here, drunk, writing a blog entry at 22:46, absolutely hating everything regarding my bloody thesis which is due in a week, having only done about 80% of what there is to be done, yet still, I'm enjoying everything there is to enjoy, because, just like The Hulk said maybe an hour ago, life is what you make of it. If you look at it at the wrong angle it sucks. But we have to option to look from the opposite side and see what's good about it. Like the fact that I'll be moving to a new place soon and my living conditions and lifestyle will start anew and everything, with a little effort, can be just the way I want it. And that's good. Just like with a little effort, and maybe a litte uncomfortableness you can get what you want. It's all good. I shouild be a hippie!
And so, I have to say goodbye! Adios Ayer... 4月20日 Mindless Ramblings...<Introdution goes here>
As I was saying in my intro above, this is something which should be attended to with utmost urgency because it isn't exactly something which is to be ignored, especially in these times and the situations which arise due to this matter. But anyway, back onto the previous topic, this is basically the prime time of my life (much like for some it was Ms. Jean Brodie's) and I should act like it. I consider myself lucky because I was born in a technologic era where everything is relatively easy on us and performing simple tasks today would've been much much harder, say, 75 years ago. The lifestyle has changed drastically, and it has done so in pretty much every aspect of it. Transportation changed, trains and cars were all powered by steam machines, required a lot of maintenance and their reliability was very low, meaning that every trip was bound to turn into a disaster. Similarly for entertainment, a century ago what would a person have done to spend time? Read? Go for a walk? Today with the miracles of telecommunication computers and television rule the nation and everything is available to us at a flick of an on/off switch. We have become mindless drones due to this, and who knows? Maybe there is an oranization up there, (the Patriots maybe?) who is trying to control us. They are the brainwashers of our society but they are still making us more comfortable in the long run. And who am I to complain?
But there are certain things which cannot be controlled by any organization (unless the world turns into a 1984esque world). Something makes us different from any satellite, car, robot, rock, tree or animal out there. We have emotions which cannot be controlled by any other means. One cannot decide for us what we like, what we feel like doing, what kind of music we enjoy or whom we want to make love to. That is what makes us unique. We are human, after all. (Thanks for coming, after all) 4月10日 The Joint Sharing TheoryThe Joint Sharing Law, more commonly referred to as the Joint Sharing Theory or JST is a basic law of human nature which explains group relationships. (huh?). Yeah...here is the article which I use as an excuse when people ask me why I made a blog. Original concept by IWCBH Subject #1.
Explanation
The JST describes what happens when a group of people are involved in any activity which requires the participants to share resourses. While extremely simple it portrays it's effects in many places and is accurate in many situations. Imagine a group of people, sitting in a circle taking turns to use a single resource. It can be anything really, a gameboy, looking at a photo which has just been taken, or an earbud attached to an MP3 player playing 'Virtual Barbershop'. But for this argument we shall assume that the resource is a joint. If you don't know what it is, then just assume it's a gameboy. Now this item will stay in possesion of a single user for a predetermined span of time. Obviously everyone will try and cheat and use as much of the resourse, but the next in line will be paying attention that such a thing will not happen so as not to upset the balance of nature. To observe this phenomenon one must focus on a single participant and observe his/her actions. As the joint approaches this user, such that he is the next in line, he will subconciously enter a sort of 'alert mode', making sure to observe when it's time for him to obtain the resource. When the signal is given, the user will stretch out, often requiring him to discomfort himself to obtain the resourse. Almost immediatly he will return to his original position or preferably in a more comfortable and/or secluded position. Once the time is up and the user is ready to move the joint the situation changes. At this point he will not stretch himself out to hand the resource to the next in line, but rather, stay in the same comfy position, secretly making use of what is still within his grasp. At that point the next in line will be the one to stretch out and reach for the joint. This effect will continue around the circle ad infinitum.
JST definition: Any person interacting within a group will go through an effort to obtain a resource but will make no effort to pass it on.
Applications and Implications
Learning to use this basic law is an extremly important lesson in life. "But," you say whilst scratching your beard and looking at a slightly elevated angle, "what is there to learn from such a simple and basic feature of human interaction?" Well, considering it's so simple you should figure it out on your own...no? Anyway, let me explain. Lets assume you and your friends are in a circle sharing a joint. Directly to your right is one person, and on your left, maybe a half a metre away is another person and you are the person who gets to decide the direction of flow. Now since you, most likely, are in a comfortable postion you would instintively pass it to your right, since it requires the least amount of movement. However, when the thing goes around, you'll be further away from the person on your left, and the JST kicks in requiring you to stretch to obtain the joint. Therefore, in these situations it is always best to hand it to the person who is furthest away from you, since in reality, he will be the one to make an effor to retreive the joint making somewhat no difference to you. However when it's back to being your turn, you are close and will require less effort. Since this is an analogy, I will explain it in non-examplar form. When a resource needs to be passed between several people, always give it to the person who will make it the most difficult to get it from. That way someone else will have to get it from him and you get an easy way out.
The second thing to keep in mind is this. If you want someone to do something for you, don't expect him/her to come bothering you to do it. When you need someone, or someone is doing you a favour, don't expect this person to come running after you. So if you need something, go and get it yourself and don't expect a computer expert to go out of his way so he can install an application on your PC. That is also under the effect of the JST since in group activity the one who is comfortable will not move to hand something to another person who needs it.
And that was the JST. Now you know it... 3月18日 The things I've learned. Chapter 1 - The InternetKintaro Oe is a smart guy, no matter how naïve he may seem. He knew that everything in life is educational and something can be learnt from pretty much everything. In this new column I shall attempt ot share my newly acquired knowledge with my trusty audience, such that you don't have to go through all the pain of having to learn it yourself and become a better person in the society, in life, and in pretty much everything else. So let's begin with the first chapter. The internet.
First off, it should be noted that within the internet itself, one always refers to this phenomenon as 'The internets!' Why it's plural is not quite understood but this holds for several other things which are referenced within the internets. Sometimes, things are plural. Anyway, let me start by first explaining how the internets works. At it's very core, the internets is composed of lots and lots of porn (commonly referred to as pr0n) networked together, as well as users on the other edges of the internets which log on to access and illegally share this porn. That's it. That's the basic concept. What happened is that through the years, the people lost sight of their vision and started putting other types of informations (pl.) on the internet. The reason for this is not quite known but madeup statistics clearly show that one in every four porn sites have become infected with this useful informations which in turn attracted other users. And that's it. That's the internets.
Now what have I learnt on the internets? Well first off, no matter how hard you try not to, you will ALWAYS find porn, which is fair enough considiring that it is the sole reason why the network was created. Another thing to note is that ALL WOMEN ON THE INTERNETS ARE HOT. All of them. It's amazing. I don't know how it's possible, but yes, it's true. That being said the new main purpose of the internets is to illegally obtain anything you want without having to have to pay for it. Anything, music, movies, tv serieses, games, kidneys, VDs...anything. Also, it is quite popular to interact with other users on this internets. This is done through several methods including chats, instant messaging, emails and most recently social networking sites. Well, chats are composed solely of males with no life and males pretending to be horny 18 year olds. Strangely enough the bracket of ages within these chats (most IRC) is made up of 10-14 year olds and then lonely 30-60 year olds. At 18 people are usually realizing that they can go out and drink alcohol and therefore opt for that solution instead of staying online and chatting. Instant messaging is mostly a place where people idle and brag about how long they've been online, share emoticons, decide what time to go out and see the gleam notifications to know that their favourit blog has been updated. The comment/personal message area is useful to share insults to the general public, witty comments and inform others that your political party has in fact won the election again even though you deserved it but didn't because of your idiotic leader. Emails are only by companies to let you know that you have a small penis and that it should be enlarged and erect.
And then there are the world famous social networking sites. What have I learnt from these? Well it's quite simple because these sites are basically built to teach you stuff. Just looking at people's avatars (personal pictures) one can learn quite a few things. Just looking at the picture can give you a clear view of what kind of person you're speaking with.
And there you go. All summarized, the internets is made of porn, free stuff and idiots. Some like to ride the wave, others, like me, bitch about it. </Lesson> |
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