3月20日
The things I've learned. Chapter 2 - Situational Comedies
As you all who know me know, I enjoy sitcoms quite a bit. Unfortunately for me, while I still find them to be
teh funnies, it is somewhat disappointing to see the same ideas recycled throughout all sitcoms because you know exactly what's going to happen. Furthermore the layout, setting, actors and actions of these sitcoms tend to converge and here I will show you how this is so.
- Every sitcom needs to have the at least 4 of following characters: the geek, the idiot, the weirdo, the spoilt and the player. Any one character can be more of these, most commonly having the player being an idiot.
- Beer is never drunk at home - never. As soon as a character enters into a kitchen, s/he immediately grabs a beer, opens it using the twist action and has a sip. Something will then come up and the beer is left there and they go out or start doing something else.
- Romantic dinners are never eaten. Irrespective of how much effort was taken to prepare the meal any romantic dinner will be bit into and then immediately one of the following things happen:
- The couple have an argument and one of them storms out,
- They start getting kinky and 'proceed to dessert' immediately.
- Whenever someone is having a baby, one parent wants to know the sex of the baby, and the other doesn't. Always. Throughout the episode everyone will start finding out one by one and at the end the parent who didn't want to find out finds out.
- A stupid, senseless proposal always occurs some time throughout the series. The answer will most probably be a surprising one. Furthermore, rings are ingested waaaaaay too often.
- Death/divorce of one of the main character's parents will happen at some point in the series. That's the way life is.
- People regularly put their feet with shoes on sofas/beds. No body seems to mind. Not even the neat freak character.
- People only eat on one side of the table.
- People always call from aeroplanes. Using their cell. Furthermore, one can be accompanied to the gate at airports. Apparently the duty free section and the baggage claim is open to everyone who feels like visiting an airport. You never pass through security at airports.
- At least one main character will have a severely strange relationship with one his parents, usually his mother. The parent in question will either be too flirtatious in front of their child and/or is always putting their child and/or partner down.
- When a couple has an argument, one of them runs out the door and leaves the room/building. Their significant other will never follow them but turn back and rub his/her face.
- Some mention of StarWars is mentioned.
- One of the main characters will always hook up with a person who has a pet. This pet will always hate said character and will be horrible to deal with. Most of the times the animal ends up at the vet.
- At one point, someone will not be able to pee but as soon as sound of flowing water is heard piss will start coming out uncontrollably.
- During the show there will always be at least one breakup where the person being dumped doesn't realize it happened. The rest of the cast has to explain how "it's not you, it' me" means that it's not her, but you.
- Birthdays are always forgotten. If they are remembered, they will require a surprise party. In this party they will all yell surprise at the wrong person, and then they get distracted and the actual birthday person just walks in. Either that or a huge argument/embarrassing situation in the dark and then the lights turn on to show several people hidden who whisper: "Surpr...ise?"
- The last two seasons will suck. Always.